Running a successful business is a cherished dream for many of us. What we tend to forget is when the average person’s attention span is as long as a gnat’s lifetime, it’s even more essential to project the right image. No one buys your product, they buy into a lifestyle. So, here’s some business advice gleaned from the wunderkinds of Hollywood:
1. Choose the name wisely. ‘Smiling Cute Puppies PLC’ is wrong! ‘Treadstone Corp’/ ‘Skynet Corporation’/ ‘Annihilation Inc’ are perfect.
2. Logo. Eerie and frightening. Must instill dread amongst your consumers – The proles must be made aware that they ‘vill be hunted down as you know veir they live’ if they refuse to patronise your business.
3. Location. Zurich is passe. London is okay, the Caymans are better, and Kiev is best. You should also have branch offices in Milan, Cairo, Hong Kong, Lagos, and Buenos Aires. Offices must be designed with plenty of steel, glass and granite. No plush chairs. Think Darth Vader and the Deathstar, not Miss Marple at Sunday High Tea. Offices must only be open on gray and rainy days and never when it’s sunny. Continue reading Business 101